


They're Creepy and They're Kooky

by crack_rock



Series: the addams/styles family [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Addams Family References, Established Relationship, Implied Mpreg, Inspired by Addams Family, Kid Fic, M/M, Mild Blood, Mild Gore, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post Mpreg, Protective Harry, Spiders, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-18 22:08:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20320273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crack_rock/pseuds/crack_rock
Summary: Her dad turns back to the black cauldron sitting on the stove with a quiet smile on his face. He’s such an ass. A severed hand starts stirring it for him while he turns to chop cilantro. She changes her mind, it’s most likely dinner.“You know, while I was shopping for bibles for the fire-pit outside,”JesusWednesday thinks, no pun intended, “I ran into Timmy’s mother, she seems very nice.”Or, the one where the Addams family is actually the Styles family. An ongoing series.





	They're Creepy and They're Kooky

**Author's Note:**

> this idea came to me last night at like 3 am. i desperately wanted louis as Morticia Addams and couldn't find any fic out there where he was that. i decided to create it. 
> 
> i want this to be an ongoing series, so please please send me requests if you like it? or if you don't like it then don't send me requests??? this was written in a night so it could be trash. don't care either way. please enjoy. 
> 
> i also made a new sideblog called [nerdassharry](https://nerdassharry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> if you want to send me requests and shit on there please do. thank you!

All Wednesday wants is one, just one, normal goddamn afternoon. 

“Darling, do you think if I got sharp enough fingernails I could cut the steak with it? I’m so tired of cleaning knives.” Wednesday’s mom, Louis, is serious. Genuinely having a conversation with his husband like it’s just a normal thing. A normal thing to talk about _incredibly sharp fingernails to cut raw red meat with_. And they wonder why she doesn’t bring her boyfriend home. 

Her mom is dressed in a long black lacey dress, with drape-y sleeves and an open back, his gigantic spiderweb tattoo on display. He has long, sharp black nails, bright red lips, and eyebrows so that are so expressive sometimes Wednesday herself gets scared of them. 

Wednesday isn’t scared of much. Her mother is a different story. 

However, she thinks, while scary, he’s also incredibly kind, caring, and oh so incredibly weird. 

Her brother, John (She rolls her eyes at his name. John? Seriously, mom and dad? You name me _Wednesday_ and my brother’s name is John?), is hanging from the stair’s banister bouncing a fake, severed head against the wall. At least, she thinks it’s fake. She doesn’t care enough to check. She rolls her eyes at him when he sticks his tongue out at her.

After she gives him the finger, she goes into the kitchen, kissing her mother on the cheek as a greeting, who is still inspecting his nails in the bathtub. Yes, in the bathtub. The bathtub that’s in the middle of the family room. That bathtub that is not hooked up to water. “It was a bold design decision by your mother” her dad always says. She knows he thinks it’s stupid too but would never dream of insulting Louis and his obscure choices. 

Speak of the devil, her dad is dressed in a bright red suit in the kitchen with a diamond encrusted pitchfork stitched on the back. She’s not sure if he’s cooking dinner or creating black magic spells. Probably the latter. 

“I think you could ask Clarissa if she could start filing down to sharp points, perhaps? However, I’d be afraid that you’d start leaving scars on my back. You tend to get aggressive, hunny.” 

Wednesday tries not to audibly gag. She’s not so successful. Her mom in the family room starts to giggle. Clarissa is her mother’s nail lady and also the neighborhood plumber. 

“Sorry, sweetheart. Didn’t know you were there,” her dad gives her a smile. She can’t be mad at him for too long. He’s endearing. He also hands her a lollipop.

“How was school? How’s Jimmy?” 

“It’s Timmy.” 

“Tommy?” 

“Timmy, dad.” 

“Got it. Tilly.” 

“That’s not even a name, _dad_.” 

“Hm.” 

Her dad turns back to the black cauldron sitting on the stove with a quiet smile on his face. He’s such an ass. A severed hand starts stirring it for him while he turns to chop cilantro. She changes her mind, it’s most likely dinner. 

“You know, while I was shopping for bibles for the fire-pit outside,” _Jesus_ Wednesday thinks, no pun intended, “I ran into Timmy’s mother, she seems very nice.” 

“How did you know it was his mother? You haven’t even _met_ Timmy yet. I told you about him last weekend.” Wednesday feels steam leave her ears. Her dad always does this. Last time she had a crush on a boy he left seven frogs in his locker with little scrolls attached to each one with pictures of each weapon Harry has in his car. The boy transferred schools two weeks later. Wednesday refused to speak to her dad for almost an entire week until he broke down crying and made her a lava cake. No, really. A cake entirely made out of lava. Entirely inedible but very cool. Wednesday still has it in her room. 

“Oh, you know. Got to chatting. Figured out we both had children at Kinsley High. Mentioned that my daughter is Wednesday Styles. And what do you know? She told me that you were over last weekend for family dinner. How sweet.” Her dad still isn’t facing her. But she can tell he’s probably smirking. 

Wednesday feels her heart pick up and blood rush to her face. _Shit_. She told her parents she was out at the graveyard with Sunny, her neighbor. 

“Um.” She doesn’t finish her thought before her dad starts speaking again. Finally, he turns around. He’s got a spoon in his hand with some bright purple liquid in it, he brings the spoon to Wednesday’s lips for her to try it. 

It tastes delicious. 

“So I invited them over for dinner tonight! I figured it’s time to meet Timminy Cricket, anyway. You know, since he’s dating my wonderful, intelligent, secretive daughter. They’ll be here at 6:30.” 

She wants to scream. 

“Dad.” She says, her nostrils flare. “Absolutely not.” 

“Absolutely yes,” he smiles. Smiles, like nothing’s wrong. Smiles like her world isn’t about turn upside down. Smiles, like her cute, blonde, tan, football player boyfriend isn’t going to realize what an insanely weird family she has. 

She wants to rip his salt and pepper hair out and plant them in the zombie garden outside so a dad-like zombie grows and then she can teach him to punch her non-zombie dad in the face. 

“Dad, you can’t do this. Timmy won’t want to date me anymore.” She stomps her foot. “You always do this. You always poke your nose in _my_ business where you don’t belong.” She stands up now, her hands on her hips. 

“You’re my business.” He states. The stupid smile hasn’t left his face yet. “I love you and I want to know the boy my daughter is dating. If that means going behind her back and inviting his family over for dinner so I can meet him, then so be it.” 

“This is unfair.” 

“Hm. Maybe.” He puts a finger on his chin like he’s thinking about it. “But it would be rude of me to uninvite the guests.” She looks at the clock, it’s 4:47. She has less than two hours before her boyfriend is exposed to the freakshows that are her parents. 

She stomps her foot again. The house groans at her. A spider crawls up her dad’s leg and he grabs it by one of the legs and sticks it in the soup. It sizzles and then starts to bubble. Her dad turns down the heat a bit. 

Tears are threatening to spill out of her eyes and a scream from her lips, so she scrunches up her face and turns away from her dad. Not before taking the lollipop he gave her and sticking it in his hair. Good, she thinks. It’ll at least rip out a few hairs. 

-

She sits at the edge of her bed and feels the tears again. She knows her dad is just protective, that’s why he’s doing this. But she can’t imagine what Timmy’s going to think when he steps into her house. The 5-story house with black shutters, black siding, a black roof. The windows with purposeful spiderwebs hanging from it. The tombstones in the front yard instead of flowers. Black, dead trees that creek and sway in the wind. 

She doesn’t even want to think about the inside. The random body parts that move around the house. The random moaning the house makes. The random blood that sometimes seeps out of the walls. 

But, the thing that makes her belly twist and her throat go tight, is her family. 

She loves her family. She loves the way her dad can make her laugh, the candy John brings her when she’s sad, the songs that her mom sings her when she’s having trouble sleeping. 

But she also knows that they’re not a typical, American family. You know, the one that has dinner at their Pottery Barn table with fresh flowers as the center piece. No. The table they sit at is 25 feet long with a white lace table cloth and 300 white candles that are always lit. She’s never seen anyone light them or blow them out.

Her mother was born in Transylvania to a family of witches, and while her dad was raised fairly ‘normal’, he says that Louis brought out his true self. They met in college. Louis cast a spell on him that every time he lies he trips. He said it was love at first sight. 

She doesn’t want to think about it too much. Heart already set that Timmy will probably dump her tomorrow and tell the whole school about the insane asylum she lives in. She huffs out a sad laugh and presses the palm of her hand against her eye until she sees stars. Whatever, she thinks. 

It’s been a fun few months dating Timmy, she thinks. 

-

She’s curled up on the side of her bed when she hears a soft knock at the door. She doesn’t answer, knowing that even though her door is locked if someone wants to get in they’ll find a way. 

It’s her mom. She can tell by the warm, vanilla scent that radiates from him. A strange contrast to his general demeanor. 

He curls up in bed beside her. Wednesday turns around and buries her face in her mom’s neck. She just wants her mom right now. She’s sad and her dad’s annoying and the only person in her life right now she wants to see is laying right next to her. 

Her mom’s small hand starts rubbing circles on her back. He’s small, Wednesday thinks. Her mom is such a larger than life, animated person that it hits her sometimes just how tiny he really is. Barely reaching 5’2. Wednesday is almost a head taller than him. They one time measured themselves in heads they found in the garden. 

“Talk to me, darling.” He says. 

“I hate dad.” 

“You don’t mean that.” 

“I can’t believe he did that, mom. He knows I’m not ready for him to meet you guys.” She says, exasperated. 

“I know, sweetheart.” He says. He’s being patient, but she knows he wants her to be honest. 

“I just-“, she looks down.

“You can say it.” 

“YouguysarereallyweirdandIdontwanthimtostopdatingme.” She says into her pillow at a speed rivaling light. 

“Couldn’t hear you, lovebug.” Her mom says. He’s now moved on to scratching his nails on her head. It feels so good Wednesday almost melts. 

“I love you guys.” She swallows. 

“And we love you so much.” Her mom smiles. 

“But you guys are, um.” She coughs. 

“We’re weird.” Her mom tilts his head. “We are, darling. I have a bathtub in the living room and we have severed hands as our servants. I’m not blind to the idea.” 

“Yeah,” she suddenly feels her throat go tight. God, she never wants her mom to feel bad about the way he is. The way he was raised, or how he decides to raise Wednesday and John. Wednesday loves her life, it’s just-

Suddenly, her mom sits up and grabs her hands. He waits a few beats before saying anything. 

“There was a boy I dated in high school,” Louis looks down and twists his mouth, “his name was Chase and he had this gorgeous smile and he was so tall and pretty and I was totally smitten.” 

Wednesday isn’t sure where this story is going. 

“He asked me on a date in Biology. I was the only one who wasn’t afraid of cutting open frogs. I’d done it all my life, so I wasn’t sure why everyone was so freaked out about it.” Wednesday smiles inwardly. “Anyways, he asked me out through a note in my locker. Obviously, I said yes. The next day he took me to a park and we walked around. I remember him making comments about my black outfit. ‘You would look so much better without all that black.’ ‘I don’t like all of those dark colors.’ Constant comments. The longer we dated, the more he said stuff. The more he made me feel stupid.” Wednesday’s heart starts to sink. 

“He came over to the house one day and saw my mom and sisters. Called us freaks. Called me a freak. Told me he wouldn’t keep dating me unless I stopped associated with that.” 

“You didn’t do that, did you?” Wednesday asks. She can’t even imagine. Her mom has always been so independent, so fierce. Absolutely herself all the time. Crazy and weird and gothic. The thought of a man ever making Louis feel insecure made Wednesday want to release a thousand spiders on their lawn. 

“I did.” Louis twists his mouth, looks down. Like he’s ashamed he ever thought a man was worth changing over. “I did. I was so afraid all of the sudden to be different, to be weird. I stopped dressing the way I wanted. Stopped performing spells with my mom. Starts wearing _color_” He makes a face like it’s the worst thing he’s ever done. “And 6 months later, we broke up. And I remember coming home, after shutting my family out for months. I said to them, ‘I’m so sorry’, and they wrapped me in a big, black robe and told me they loved me. The next day, I felt like myself again.” 

Louis looks at Wednesday, “The day your father asked me on a date, I said to him ‘you better not think I’m going to change for any man’.”

He smiles, “you know what he said to me?” 

Wednesday can’t help but smile back. “What?” she asks. 

“’Thank God.’ He said. He got me dead roses for our date the next day.”

Wednesday giggles, “Sounds like dad.” 

“Sweetheart, I tell you this because I get it. I do. I know that we’re not a normal family. I know that most mothers aren’t lounging in bathtubs on a typical Thursday afternoon. But what I do know, is that changing yourself and hiding yourself for anyone isn’t worth it.” Louis gives her a soft smile. 

“If you want me to cancel the dinner tonight, screw your father. I will. You know I will. He might pout at me a bit but nothing a little lingerie can’t fix.” 

“_Mom_” 

“But if you’re cancelling because you’re afraid Timmy might dump you because your family is weird,” her mom cups her cheek, “is that the kind of guy you want to stay with?” 

Wednesday swallows. 

“No.” She says, she feels slightly more confident now. “No, you’re right. You-“ she coughs, “Timmy should like me for who I am, right?” 

“Exactly.” Louis smiles with all his teeth. He’s always has slight fangs. Wednesday is pretty sure God just added those in there to make him extra intimidating. 

“I love you, Mom.” 

“I love you more than all of the stars in the sky, my love.” 

-

Timmy’s family comes over at exactly 6:28. His mom has a large bouquet of pink roses, his dad has a bottle of red wine in his hand, and Timmy has his hands in his pockets looking slightly terrified. Wednesday isn’t sure if it’s fear towards the house in general, or the absolutely terrifying look her dad is giving him from across the room. 

Wednesday glares at her dad. He raises and eyebrow at her. 

There’re greetings exchanged. Flowers put in a skull vase. Glasses of wine poured for the parents and glasses of soda poured for the kids. Timmy’s parents are wary, but kind. Making comments about the décor, “how unique!” “oh, I love the um, black!”. It’s slightly awkward. Well, Wednesday thinks it is. But both her parents are chatting away, acting like absolutely nothing is wrong whatsoever. 

Timmy walks over to Wednesday with wide eyes and a slightly parted mouth. 

“Hey.” He says, he gives her a hug, buries his face in her hair. Is this the part where he breaks up with her? She tries to pretend like she doesn’t care. It’s not working. 

“Hey,” she says. “Sorry.” 

“For what?” He pulls back a bit, hands still on her shoulders. 

“For,” she motions with her hands around the house, “this. For my parents. I’m sorry this was sprung on you. Sorry for, um, everything.” 

His eyebrows furrow, “I-“ he starts. 

“I know my family is weird,” Wednesday interrupts. Like if she doesn’t say all that she’s thinking she won’t have time. She feels panicked. 

“I know they’re weird and you’re probably freaked out, but I promise you that we’re more normal than you thin-“ 

“Wednesday,” he interrupts, “I like you.” 

“What?” 

“I like you. I like your family. I like that your family is weird. Your family is cool. I want to get to know them, because that way I’ll get to know you more, too.” He smiles a crooked smile. He looks so cute, Wednesday wants to kiss him. 

“Are you messing with me?” She asks. Her insecurity is coming out, but she can’t help it. 

“No,” he moves closer to her, “I think you’re pretty damn cool, Wednesday Styles.” 

-

By the time dinner is over, Wednesday has calmed down about 300%. 

Dinner was good, she thinks. Timmy’s family was horrified by the purple color of the soup, but positively delighted once they tried it. Harry tried and failed not to act smug.

Louis dominated the conversation, with stories about his childhood, gossip about the newest family that moved in down the street, their next-door neighbor’s annoying dog who always tries to bite their black cat, Gregory. Harry occasionally chimed in with his own stories, but mainly switched off between glaring at Timmy and making googly eyes at his wife. 

Timmy and Wednesday kissed outside before he left. Her mom purposefully distracting Harry so he wouldn’t interrupt. Timmy’s parents with their back to them, walking to the car. 

She steps inside once she can no longer see their car, quietly shutting the creaking door and toeing off her shoes. 

Her parents are in the kitchen, cleaning off dishes. A few severed hands are handing them dishes from the dining room. Louis is standing on Harry’s feet. He’s putting soap bubbles on his face to make a beard. They’re both giggling. Her dad kisses her mom, getting soap all over both their faces now. They make faces at each other. The dishes are forgotten, for a few moments. 

Wednesday feels like she’s walked in on such an incredibly beautiful, intimate moment. She wants to remember the way her parents look at each other forever. 

“Love you, darling.” Her mom says to her dad. 

“Love you more than all the stars in the sky, my love.” He says. 

The house groans underneath them.

**Author's Note:**

> [nerdassharry](https://nerdassharry.tumblr.com/)


End file.
